youre lurking in front of me
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
