she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize