did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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