To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
