no, he came in my armpit
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
