Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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