dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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