it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
