he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
