Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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