you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
