i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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