I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
