He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
