Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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