Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
