just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
