would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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