My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
another moral hangover. fuck.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
