i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
