I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
