My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
