I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
