My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
