u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
