Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
