told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
