so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
