Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
