I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
