Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
