I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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