just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
