I am spending my child support on dildos
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize