i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
