It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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