My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
