so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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