Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
