i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
