can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
