Sacagawea was the original milf.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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