Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
The beers last night were like the tears from god
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
