whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
