did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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