her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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