We won't sleep together?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
