Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
