what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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