hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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