what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
