I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
She needs sedatives and a leash
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
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