i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
