I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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