Walk of Shame. In a state park.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
