He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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