road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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