I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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