white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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