Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
