OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize