they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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