Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
